Separating the Wheat from the Chaff
Dennis Myers, Writing Chef™
“Fast Food, Formula Based” - The Curse
Last week I was fascinated reading Shaena Stabler’s notes about new restaurants preparing to locate in Laguna Beach. In particular, the Chipotle submission for a CUP at the Food Court on Broadway caught my eye. Really? A company with an award-winning menu, a reputation for quality locally grown fresh ingredients, and outstanding service wants to locate in Laguna Beach? OMG!
Are they crazy? They want to spend $250,000 to open a restaurant on sacred ground within Downtown Specific Plan territory? These Chipotle people must have fallen off their SUV and hit their collective heads as they passed by the location.
And the location they picked is a hot bed for culinary dining. We already have two fast food markets disguised as gasoline stations. Also a Healthy Chinese fast food establishment, a fast food burger and fries plus pizza shop that also sells beer and wine, and a fast food taco stand. Oops, I didn’t mean fast food, because the Downtown Specific Plan (DSP) specifically says that fast food is not welcome within the territory – only slow food.
They also must not be able to read, because the DSP specifically states: “The business offers merchandise and/or services that serve the current unmet needs of the resident population.” Here’s a news flash Chipotle people, I have already pointed out that we have plenty of fast food in the Food Court! Well, most of the time – a few recent failures, well maybe years of failed businesses. Regardless of the facts, we can still get a sub sandwich at the gasoline station. Our needs are met – get out of here with your fancy ideas about quality locally grown ingredients! Local is our middle word.
Now that I think of it, you Chipotle big shots probably have some sort of plan worked out, including marketing. Well, let it be known that we don’t want people with plans. Just check the DSP. Rather we would take someone with no plan and no marketing experience, along with no idea how your store might look or how your merchandise would display, décor, signs, and employee uniforms might look. We just want you to show up with money to pay the fees and a willingness to move into some wrecked, termite infested building that was never built to code where a dozen or so tenants milked it for years trying to eke out a living.
Also, before you bring it up smarty pants executives, we will tell you how many tables you can use to seat your customers, not to mention how much service you can provide. No fast food, just like it says in the DSP. Slow food, slow service, limited employees and restricted hours of operation are what it takes. Employees can’t wear matching uniforms, just street clothes. Plenty of examples walk by on Broadway every day. We can show you real style.
That’s what it takes to get by us here in Laguna, you Chipotle outsiders. Success is not important – just get by. Besides, you are way too much in a hurry to get this deal done. It is not the Laguna Beach way.
So chill out. Take a couple of years to think on it while we push papers and have meetings to work out the details! In the meantime, take a look at our sister city Detroit – I hear they have plenty of deserted real estate available cheap! And, if you fail there, the government will bail you out. You cannot beat a money back guarantee, something you will not get from Laguna Beach.
Sometimes you just need to pig out
By FONDA EATON
Comfort Food Correspondent
Before you start, I am not always health un-conscious. Sometimes I’ll try to cut back and have just a short stack of pancakes or have them hold the whipped cream on my chocolate-banana milk shake. I just try to maintain – as long as I can sit comfortably on one stool at the counter, I’ll be just fine, thank you!
If you love to eat then you know that sometimes, you just need to pig out.
When that urge hits this lady, there’s only one thing to do. I drive down to Anita Street and South Coast Highway and head into Adolfo’s Mexican Food as I have been doing ever since they opened here in 1985.
What’s not to love about a place where everything is fresh and homemade and the most expensive entrée is $9.95?
You know they’ve done something right when you realize that high school kids that were going there after school in the 80s are now eating there with their own little guys. It’s also a good probability their parents are still eating at Adolfo’s too.
It’s a family restaurant – and Señor Adolfo, Señora Connie and their daughter Peggy are there to take your order and see to it that the quality is always top notch.
Connie remarked, “We make sure that kids who come in here after school or from the beach are treated courteously and never discouraged. Many of our menu items came from a kid’s suggestion. Surfing kids asked for our California Burrito. They order it with whichever meat they like – bacon makes it a breakfast burrito!”
The salsa bar is a great place to start…as I said, everything is fresh and homemade and their salsa with chips will stir your taste buds and get you in the mood for the rest of your fare. They even have Super Nachos on the menu.
My favorite thing on the menu is, of course, the most expensive thing at $9.95.
It’s a combination plate called Mojarra, a special recipe of Connie’s. They start with a cleaned, fresh, domestic farm-grown tilapia, which is scored with a cross pattern with a knife then deep fried, head and tail intact and served over shredded lettuce alongside Adolfo’s beans and rice, mild jalapeño, sliced tomatoes and tortillas. I like the flour ones with this dish.
Before I’m served, I waddle, err, uh…hustle over to the salsa bar again and get lots of that fresh salsa, extra lemon and lime wedges and hot peppers and grab a bottle of Tapatio if there isn’t one on my table.
Your plate will have the whole fish on it and guarantees that you’ll attract attention (and that’s why I order it, Honeybunch!). That scoring I told you about lets you pull off bite size chunks of the tilapia that will melt in your mouth! You can eat it with your fingers but I recommend using a fork with the rice and beans.
The best thing is that just when you’re feeling disappointed because the bite size chunks are gone and all you see are the bones, you can flip the fish and the other side let’s you start all over again!
Did I tell you to ask for extra napkins?
One more thing girls, be sure to wash your hands if you use your fingers to eat jalapeños or put Tapatio on the tilapia! It’ll burn your eyes!
• • •
Connie says their top selling burrito is the Grande Burrito ($6.25) – beef or chicken, bean, cheese, lettuce, tomato, sour cream, guacamole and rice! Adolfo’s has 20 burritos for you to choose from.
Of course they sell tons of their popular tacos and I love the fresh fish soft tacos loaded with that fresh fish ($2.20) or the shrimp taco (2 for $5).
Other combo plates that are really popular are Machaca ($8.50), the Verde Pork Plate ($7.75), Carnitas and Carne Asada (both $8.25).
Adolfo’s has nine quesadillas from $4.50 - $7.75 including a veggie filled with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and grilled bell pepper ($5.92).
Enchiladas, chimichangas, tostadas and tamales are also on the menu.
Connie tells me their tortas are becoming big sellers. The bread is toasted with mayo, beans, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, tomato and onions with a choice of carne asada, carnitas, chorizo, chicken or bacon and egg.
Everything on the menu is available to go. Call in your take home order – 497.2023 – then drive down to 998 S. Coast Hwy between 9 and 9 and enjoy!
Oh, and their burger (yes burgers!) are said to be the favorite burger of lots of Lagunans. I wouldn’t know because I go to Adolfo’s Mexican Food for just that!