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 Volume 14, Issue 52  |  July 1, 2022


Guest Column

How to move on and put past hurts behind you

By Dr. Vidya Reddy 

So, how do you put the past behind you? 

Everyone makes mistakes and goes through difficult times in life. But it’s not your mistakes or your difficulties that define you, but rather what you learn from them that truly matters. How you think about the past can be an excellent teacher and a great source of motivation for learning how to move on, or it can interfere with your happiness and hold you back from living your best life. 

So, how do you put the past behind you? Here are four tips that I hope will help you heal your old wounds, and move on to a better and brighter future.

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Dr. Vidya Reddy

As difficult as it might be, practice forgiveness 

Whether it’s forgiving yourself for a mistake that you made or forgiving someone who you believe harmed you, forgiveness is one of the best possible things you can do to heal yourself from the past.

You may have heard the saying, “Holding onto anger and resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It’s true. When you continue to be angry and bitter about something that has happened in the past, the only person you end up hurting is yourself. 

So whatever old grudges or disappointments you’ve been nursing, I encourage you to let them go. You will feel a lot better about yourself and about the world around you if you do. 

Practice gratitude 

Take time every day to feel grateful for everything that is good in your life. And I do mean everything

Be grateful for the people who love you, and who have helped you, mentored you or taught you something on your journey through life. Be grateful for the roof over your head, be grateful for your health, be grateful for the opportunities you’ve been given in life, the flowers blooming outside your window and the blue sky overhead, the things that make your life easier and more enjoyable, and the people who were involved in making those things and bringing them into your world. 

The more you cultivate gratitude and appreciation for everything that’s good in your life right now and focus on those things, the easier it will be for you to forget about the things that have hurt you in the past. 

And also remember to be grateful for the people that have made your life difficult at times. 

It is because of them that you have developed qualities like courage, perseverance and compassion. Make sure to develop a daily practice of gratitude, whether it is in meditation, writing in your journal, or just walking around and appreciating everything you see for a few minutes in the morning. 

Remember your thoughts determine your reality 

So, if you want to improve any aspect of your life, make the effort to think better thoughts. 

Every time you find yourself thinking about something negative that happened in the past, consciously transform that negative thought into something positive. 

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Make the effort to think better thoughts 

For example, if you’re thinking, “I can’t believe I wasted all those years on someone who betrayed me!” replace it with the new thought, “I am so happy and grateful I am now free to find someone who truly appreciates me for who I am.” 

Learning to meditate is also a powerful tool that can help you with this. When you meditate, you can simply assume the position of a witness to your thoughts, which always seem to come in a constant stream. 

As you become more aware of your thoughts in meditation, you will more easily and more often begin to recognize when you’re going into a negative spiral and be able to then consciously shift your thoughts toward something more positive. 

It takes constant vigilance and work, but the ultimate rewards are so worth it. Remember that you are amazing. 

Focusing on the failures of your past can be crippling to your self-esteem, your self-confidence and your happiness. But the opposite is true as well. When you focus on your past successes, of which there are always many, you build your self-esteem and your self-confidence. 

As a thought exercise, I’ve learned a lot of things over the past few months and feel compelled to share them with you in the spirit of robust helpfulness. If you would like more information, techniques and meditation based on Life Lessons, please refer to my blog: https://naturally-happy.com/blog/.

In Peace, Love and Gratitude. 

‘Til next time, 

Dr. Vidya Reddy, ND, AMS, DAC, CLC

www.Naturally-Happy.com.

 

Shaena Stabler, President & CEO - Shaena@StuNewsLaguna.com

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